Don’t Share These on FaceBook

Countless bloggers have expressed disgust about their FaceBook pet peeves and have contributed to the dissemination of articles online, which mostly echoed self-serving biases, rather than providing a genuine blueprint to being socially amiable in FaceBook.

It is that tendency that resulted in the failure of the goal to educate, as the reader’s freedom of expression gets threatened almost immediately. It’s like sharing a silly personal story with your mom and regretting it instantly as the latter went full parenting mode.

What these ‘elitists’ seem to forget is that FaceBook was created for people to express themselves. And to make Mark Zuckerberg very rich.

But, if you can help it, my friend, learn not to share so much about these five things there; the goal is to keep getting attention, the good kind, from your network:

Dead people in their casket

Long ago, death was a well-respected event shared by family and friends. Online, it’s an event nobody wants to be involved with, especially if the dead is displayed lying ‘peacefully’ in his casket.

We had thought that it’s sadness and condolences are ensued when we post these images, but human instinct is hardwired to cower, hide and feel mortified at the sight of the dead.

Why do you think caskets were invented?

It’s understandable we leverage social networking to get family members informed, but at least make it classy and presentable: post a picture of them smiling when they were living.

Would you rather see a corpse with bad makeup than a smiling person?

Decapitated, limbless children and animals

Was it the genuine thought to spread awareness, or you’re really into soliciting authority in the ‘I’m-sympathizing-so-you-should-too-because-it’s-social’ department?

Whatever the case is, seeing decapitated bodies in FaceBook, especially during lunch breaks, will get no sympathy.

It’s the most blatant form of attention seeking, as it relies on shock factor. Shock factor is a result of bad taste, and people have become wary of shitty forms of attention seeking.

If you’re so concerned about these suffering souls’ plights, there’s always the Red Cross or PETA to reach out to. Unless you’re directly related to them, then your friends on FaceBook would care. Otherwise, lessen the gore factor.

Long rants about rants

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It.was.too.much.

There’s a reason FaceBook limits real estate for long posts. For one thing, people’s attention span have become shorter than a gold fish’s, rendering long posts unnecessary. For another, it’s bad for mobile viewing.

On the other hand, you can get away with posting long posts as long as they’re well written and read like a superb storytelling. Unless you’re JK Rowling or Hemmingway, then post all you want.

Posting pictures of the same content every minute

If you have important life-changing events needed to be posted on FaceBook (e.g. graduations, fun runs, inducing labor, etc.), a maximum of five pictures will maintain that ‘congratulatory’ atmosphere from your network.

Go beyond that and there go your life-changing events secretly hated and hidden.

This universally-accepted maximum number of sharing won’t sound the bragging alarm with your friends, thus keeping your life-changing event truly life-changing for all of them to be happy being part of it.

Political and religious rants that nobody likes or comment to

It’s normal to have political stances once in a while. But the truth is that most people are tired of them. To give you a clue whether to continue with the endless rant, check your most recent political status, and see how many ‘likers’ have commented.

If there’s a healthy number of engagement, you’re on your way to becoming the next Donald Trump. But if you have more than a thousand ‘friends’ but less than 5% have engaged with your post, then reconsider.

Or if you can’t tame the raging political beast within you, use visuals like memes or something from 9gag. While being political, you’re also being creative.

Not only did you express your disgust to the current situation, but you also made your friends genuinely care because you entertained them.

The future is online. Your personal reputation is a currency you can’t let be devalued by giving in to impulses and hasty attention-seeking resorts.

And unlike Snapchat, FaceBook stores your posts forever.